20 things I'd rather do than watch Alistair Cook bat

1. Watch the Wallabies play the All Blacks at Eden Park.
2. Light myself on fire.
3. Lose NRL DreamTeam to Karl.
4. Chug drain cleaner.
5. Support the Roosters.
6. Challenge CT to a physical contest.
7. Slow down Paul Gallen's play-the-ball.
8. Remove a urinary catheter without an anesthetic.
9. Watch the Pauly D/Deena kiss on a repeated loop.
10. Start an argument with CT.
11. Rip my fingernails out with a pair of pliers.
12. Try to chat-and-cut in front of Larry David.
13. Try and actually catch a Jarryd Hayne no-look pass (HA!).
14. Experience waterboarding.
15. Watch Jarrod Croker and Taniela Lasalo try and tackle.
16. Allow Bret Hart lock in the Sharpshooter for 15 minutes.
17. Listen to Tim Gilbert call the rugby league.
18. Make CT angry.
19. Cook crystal meth for Gus Fring.
20. Study Civil Engineering. Yes, it's THAT bad.

AB