Saturday, 21 May 2011

Chathu's Classroom - Buffalo Bills and the Dark Arts

Recently I've been watching America's Game, a fantastic series by NFL Films that looks at every Superbowl winning team. If you happen to watch the episodes 1990 through 1993 you'll notice the same team is at the big dance every year, and loses. Every year. This team is the Buffalo Bills.

On each occasion the Bills were stronger than their opponents and got so very close but never far enough.
Of course this article will not qualify as drivel without a trashy pop culture metaphor - so in this case the Bills struggles for world domination echo those of the dark wizard Lord Voldemort.

In Superbowl XXV the all powerful Bills led by Jim Kelly got within 1 point of Bill Parcells' Giants, only for their fate to be put in the hands of kicker Scott Norwood who promptly missed. Voldemort's attempts at leaving his plans in the feeble Professor Quirell's hands were not particularly successful either.

In Superbowl XXVII the Bills couldn't stop turning the ball over to the Cowboys, getting Troy Aikman far too involved and in the end they never stood a chance. And lets be honest, once Fawkes got involved in the Chamber of Secrets, there was no way Tom Riddle was ever knocking off Harry.

Finally in Superbowl XXVIII,  it looked like the Bills agony would end as they led by seven at halftime.
But a crucial Thurman Thomas fumble for a touchdown return turned the game and Dallas went home with the bacon once again. Everyone remembers that moment in the Goblet of Fire; with Cedric dead, Harry mano e mano with the resurrected Voldemort surrounded by Death Eaters, where you thought 'well I won't have to save up for a fifth book'.

You thought after all that effort, Lord V is finally gonna get his man. But a crunching tackle from the twin wand cores caused a Voldemort fumble and a Harry Potter recovery and return to Hogwarts for a TD. From all these comparisons it is fairly certain that The Dark Lord is a season ticket holder at the Rogers centre.

So just a warning for Bills fans out there: You should probably steer clear of the the last Harry Potter movie (regardless of Emma
Watson), because the way it ends for Voldemort doesn't exactly bode well for his favourite NFL team. 


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