Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Chathu's Classroom - Darren Sammy Syndrome

Has your team contracted it?
Darren Sammy Syndrome (DSS) is a relatively new condition where an international one day cricket team’s captain is inexplicably a very very average all rounder.

It is associated with teams that are just rubbish at one day cricket. A dysfunctional cricket board can be present but not essential.

The aforementioned captain can do little-to-nothing with the ball other than bowl straight regardless of the fact he is tall. His batting consists of a quickfire 20 or 30 odd every 20 games. Tactically he is as unimaginative as his bowling.

Treatment is simple surgical removal of the offending player. Prognosis is good if treatment is early. Failure to identify the disease early may lead deterioration of the team’s results and, in the worst case scenario, consistently being beaten by Pakistan.

On the 5th of May 2011, the English one day cricket team was diagnosed with Darren Sammy Syndrome. 


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